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Alles Kaputt
Alles Kapot 'is one of Lis' missions in the mod. Objectives *Drive to the video rental store *Smash up the store Script ''Lis walks into Trey's basement and Cunt tied to a chair with Todd breaking a baseball bat over Cunt's legs. Cunt screams in pain as Trey looks on and Todd yells at him '''Todd: '''And I'll ask you again, tell us where your cash's coming from, or else I'll fucking fist you! '''Trey: ''*Interrupting Todd* Oh shit, it's Lis! Yo, Lis! '''Lis: '''A'ight, any news? '''Trey: '''Nothing, just intimidating this poor cunt over where their cash's coming from. ''Lis reaches her hand out for Todd's bat right as he's about to swing it Lis: 'Let me see the bat...c'mon. ''Todd hesitantly gives Lis the bat. Lis motions like she's going to swing the bat at Cunt's head, but ends up swinging the bat low at Cunt's shins. Cunt hunches over, yelling in pain, as Lis talks to him 'Lis: '''Tell us where you're getting your cash from right now, or so help me fucking god, your balls are gonna be hanging from my rearview mirror! '''Cunt: '''Alright! Alright...the video store downtown- ''Lis, Todd, and Trey all look at each other in surprise/shock as Cunt talks 'Cunt: '''We rent out movies and we use the money to fund rallies- '''Todd: '''Fucking video store, should've known! '''Lis: '''Right...c'mon, we're going 'round there. Always hardcore! '''Trey & Todd: '''Always hardcore! ''Lis, Todd, and Trey walk up the basement stairs. As Todd exits the basement, Lis stops Trey before he climbs up the stairs '''Lis: '''Hey, hold up- '''Trey: '''What? I wanna smash shit up too! '''Lis: '''Na...no, no, no. You're staying here and watching this cunt- '''Trey: '''Why? '''Lis: '''So he don't escape. '''Trey: '''But I gotta go to work- '''Lis: '''Fuck work! Call in a sick day, you gotta keep watching this guy- '''Trey: '''But I used all my sick days to hunt for aliens! '''Lis: ''*Groans* Jesus. ''Lis rushes up the stairs The player gains control of Lis. The player is instructed to drive Todd to the video rental store. During the drive, a conversation erupts 'Todd: '''The fucking video rental joint, how could we've not noticed? '''Lis: '''I know! Like, we rented so many movies from there back when we were growing up. '''Todd: '''Yeah, the early-2000's were such a good time, weren't they? Motor Vehicle Theft still being good, primative internet, cheaper gas, and a three hour movie on the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald. '''Lis: '''How nostalgic. But we'll remanice later. Right now, we gotta break everything! '''Lis & Todd: '''Yeah! ''*Singing to the tune of "Always Hardcore* ''Hey, hey, hey, yeah...hey, hey, always hardcore! ''The player arrives at the rental store. After arriving, a cutscene occurs Lis and Todd walk into the store. After they walk in, the cashier address them 'Cashier: '''Anything you guys're looking for- '''Todd: '''Shut the fuck up, you fucking cocksucker! ''Todd grabs the Cashier and throws him into a backroom, shutting the door behind him as the cashier yells in terror 'Cashier: '''Oh shit, fucking hell! Help me! I'm being kidnapped! ''The player gains control of Lis. The player is instructed to smash the display racks with the bat. Occasionally, Lis will shout out something as she smashes a rack 'Lis: '''Bam! 10 points! '''Lis: '''50 points! '''Lis: '''I never liked that movie, anyway! '''Lis: '''Fucking Hollywood hasn't made a good movie in years! '''Lis: '''Be kind, please rewind! '''Lis: '''I've been waiting forever for you cunts to bring in that Dutch movie! ''Lis smashes the video store. After doing so, a short cutscene occurs Lis & Todd are walking out of the store, wielding bats and talking amongst themselves 'Lis: '''Goddamn, that was a fun time, yeah? '''Todd: '''Yeah, totally. Especially breaking that cashier's arm. You wanna do something else? '''Lis: '''Right, yeah, some other time though. Later on, amigo. ''Lis & Todd walk away in seperate directions Mission Passed